Say No to "No!" - Establish Effective Communication With Your Puppy

"Never say 'No!' to your puppy!"

You may have heard this bit of wisdom before, from your dog trainer or online pupfluencer.

Without proper explanation, it can come off as very bizarre advice! How else are you supposed to teach your puppy what not to do, as they run around your house with all the destructive power of a category 5 hurricane with shark teeth? Are you supposed to just let them wild out all day and never discipline them?

Of course not!

The key thing to understand is that puppies don't actually grasp the concept of the negative. They have no understanding of what NOT to do! They are infants, toddlers, their brains still developing. They aren't used to your human expressions, tone, habits, context. They have no idea that when you say "no!" they should drop the remote, jump off the coffee table, stop humping your leg, leave the cat alone, etc. because they don't understand the context...especially when you use it in all those different situations.

Puppy on the coffee table. Try as hard as you can to avoid it, it sometimes happens! If I start saying "no!" will the puppy understand? What is it they think they should do? Get off the table? Stop sniffing the candle? Sit politely? In all situations, a specific command is always more valuable!

Puppies are infant wolves exploring the world, and they have no concept of "bad" behavior by human standards.

To them, you yelling "No!", "Stop!", or their name repeatedly, just means it must be playtime because you are getting riled up and paying attention to them. Often, it actually leads to an increase in the behavior you are trying to stop, because they realize it's a way to get you off the couch, away from your desk, to try to physically stop them.

When is a simple "No!" actually effective? Usually it has to be followed by you getting up, swatting at them, chasing them, increasing your volume until you actually scare them, or physically drag them away from what they really want. At that point, you are not communicating anything, except that they should not trust you. That's really damaging to your long term relationship and affects their obedience to you negatively.

But fear not!

You can switch up your approach, and teach them what you DO want them to do instead.

While "No!" is a generic negative word that doesn't advise them at all, "Off!", "Drop it!", "Place!", etc., can be loaded with meaning and can be used in the right context!

Training basic commands is not just for "obedience". it's a way for you to begin establishing communication. It's a way to start to get the puppy to learn how to listen and attempt to understand what you want.

Training commands together is also a way to train yourself to react quickly and say the command your puppy will actually understand. This is the true reason to avoid relying on "no!". "No!" is a word we humans use easily, and easily understand the context and expectations based on the situation, while puppies just don't! So while you may get help from a professional trainer, personally practicing training every day with your puppy is invaluable.

When you first teach them to "sit", "stay", "drop it", "leave it", "off", or "place", its just an abstract game to them! They try to figure out what to do, to earn that treat, or toy, or praise, depending on what motivates them.

Teaching a pup the "place" command is the best way to keep them bolting out the door when a visitor comes, getting in your way in the kitchen, etc.! It's also a great way to get them used to being calm and relaxed when you are busy and can't play!

But the way to really instill the understanding is to use the commands in context, in real life, in low stakes situations and praise/reward heavily. Ask them to "sit" before rushing out the door. Say "off" when they are getting out of the car.

Also, my favorite secret weapon was constantly practicing recall with my puppy in low stakes situations (such as randomly calling him in from the garden just to give him a good treat, and then letting him go back out as he pleased), that way, I could call him away from anything easily, and he didn't think I was just ending his fun.

If you practice in low stakes situations, they will be more likely to listen in higher stakes situations as they mature. If they are jumping on the counter, use "off!". If they grab your phone, use "drop it!". If they are bothering the cat, use "leave it!" If you don't want them to jump on guests, use "place!". Always celebrate them enthusiastically and reward heavily when they listen, especially early on! That's how you load the word with meaning, when they are too young to just do it to please you.

When my boy was little, our playtime was training time, and he loved it! We made a game of running to different openings in the railing on my patio, and doing different commands. He thought it was the best game ever, and loved to get "down" to take a treat from under the railing, or quickly find his way around the railing to get to me when I recalled him!

If they don't listen, ignore them, they get no praise, no treat, no playtime. If the situation is dangerous, distract them or trade them something delicious or fun, so they know that they can trust you. Initially this means carrying around their favorite treats or toys for a while, but it pays off as they grow! Once a pup truly trusts you, they will let you do pretty much anything, from pulling thorns from their feet to taking dead mice from their mouth.

After enough practice, training together becomes a way for them to listen to you, understand your tone, expressions, and likely, as they mature and grow to understand you, you can even start using "no" and they will learn what you mean by it. I usually use it with my adult dogs as a way to signal that it's not time for something yet, for example, when they cry to go to walks early, or beg for more dental chews.

As adults, they have grown to understand it perfectly.

As an adult, my boy always knows what I'm asking, because we worked together to understand each other for years! He is absolutely incredible!